


Held to the Flame

by the_black_rose



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Assertive Female, Church of Lemons, Church of lemons 2020, Cybernetics, Don’t drink the tea, Drama & Romance, Duo watched reruns of the Dukes of Hazard, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Lemon, M/F, Romance, assassination attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:15:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22965271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_black_rose/pseuds/the_black_rose
Summary: Written for the 2020 Church of Lemons.It's been four years since Heero left his job as Relena's bodyguard. She's been looking for him for two of those years.“How many times could I lose you? I couldn’t.” Her hands slid around his waist from behind. “It was too dangerous to keep you by my side. No matter how much I wanted to.” He felt her turn her head; her temple rested against the exposed skin just below his neck."I practically gave my life for you."
Relationships: Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy
Comments: 24
Kudos: 96
Collections: Church Of Lemons (CoL) 2020 Gundam Wing Edition





	Held to the Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to JenJenGundamFan for inviting me to join this year's Church of Lemons challenge. What an amazing blast from the past, and I'm so happy to provide my offering to the Church.
> 
> It's been a long time. I hope you'll enjoy this attempt at depicting our favorite couple as a little bit older, little bit more experienced... They're every bit as much still in love and able to surprise each other. 
> 
> As always, thank you so incredibly much to those that will read it. Happy Leap Year! ~Rose

* * *

**Held to the Flame  
** _By the Black Rose_

_Relena watched Heero’s tall, lean form retreat across an asphalt lane in the direction of a private jet – chartered by Preventer to take him to…his own, preferred destination. His long denim-covered legs moved smoothly even as he held the left side of his upper torso at a strange angle. Gone was his Preventers jacket; instead, he wore a simple t-shirt. It shone white in the sunlight. He held a small ruck sack slung over his right shoulder._

_Everything he owns... Relena thought, and something sharp snagged on the bottom of her heart and tugged it towards the acidic pit of her stomach. Tears pricked at her eyes with the pain._

_“Heero...”_

The former ESUN President closed her eyes and felt the light sway of the sedan. Cloth seats rubbed against her hair; a few stood at odd angles under the power of static electricity. She rode in an ordinary, unmarked car. Something she could only do now—

The gentle sway turned into an abrupt, jarring motion as the wheels ground and snapped against a gravel road. Her eyes flew open.

“Ma’am, this road dead ends up ahead. Is this--”

She stared out the window. About 100 yards from the end of a gravel and dirt road, she could just make out wheel impressions in the brown grass. Someone routinely drove over that area. It was difficult to see how far the path went as it disappeared into a thick cluster of trees.

“Turn and follow that path, please. “

“Yes ma’am.”

A telltale plume of smoke wafted just above the pine tree-lined alley. A house, it had to be. His house. _I found you._

The car turned right, and slowed to a crawl. It did little to soften the sharp pitching of the vehicle. Deep shadows fell over the car, and the driver brought it to a stop. “Ma’am?”

“Thank you. I’ll get out here.”

“Wh-wh-what? Are you sure? I-I-I...”

“You can go back to the main road and wait for me there. I have the radio turned on my phone, so even if I can’t get a cell signal, I can still radio you for assistance.”

“Y-yes ma’am.”

She opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle. Though she only wore a practical, low-heeled shoe, the ground was soft and pulled at the soles. Relena glanced down and smoothed her hands over her skirt; she slipped her radio-enabled-but-otherwise-no-frills cellphone into her purse and clutched her jacket collar at her collarbone.

The heels of her shoes at times crunched over gravel; at other times, she felt like she was sinking. She picked her way, feeling mostly unsteady, across the long, gold and brown-colored field to the thicket of pine trees, and sure enough – to a wooden cabin just beyond. 

It was a beautiful building in its simplicity. Wooden steps led to a long, timbered deck that seemed to wrap all the way around the house. Dark brown planks like the Lincoln Logs she’d played with as a child – fit together in a perfect puzzle that someone had painstakingly assembled into a small house. 

In front of the cottage was a…yard, she supposed, in the most general form of the word. It was a space between trees, with a short railing off to one side, cordoning off what had to be a work area of sorts. A large tree stump, a couple of sawhorses, a small pile of tools with just the beginnings of rust starting to form along the edges and ridges… 

Someone...What should have been a familiar form, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, grunted and swung an axe down from shoulder height, splitting a log braced against another log. It seemed a very efficient movement; the log split into two. The man, Heero Yuy, bent, picked up the pieces, and slid one against the log that served as a brace. He stood and lifted the axe with both hands just beneath his shoulders and then dropped his arms in a smooth motion – the instrument easily splitting the half into quarters.

Her feet seemed rooted in place as she watched him select another log and repeat the motions. His arms were thicker, more muscular than the rail thin build of his youth. His shoulders had grown equally broad... His dark hair still fell in pieces over his eyes, but it no longer stopped at his ears; instead, it seemed intent on taking over his face – stretching down the line of his jaw, covering his chin and upper lip.

_How long has it been...? Four years?_

He looked. So different. She turned to go back to the car, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her winter coat, and felt something against the fingertips of her right hand. She pulled out a thin scrap of paper and looked at it, but she didn’t need to read the scrawl. His address. This place. How difficult had it been to track him down?

_After all this time... I can’t just leave._

She pivoted back around; he was standing there, his shoulders heaving. He grabbed a bottle of water, twisted off the cap and lifted it to his lips. He tilted his head back and that’s when he must have caught sight of her...

He lowered the bottle and just stared in her direction. Relena swallowed against something stubborn and thick in the back of her throat and willed her feet to move her closer. Towards him.

_Heero..._

* * *

Mountain air was good for a lot of things, but it didn’t help him forget...

It helped him breathe easier. It helped him clear his head. It helped him heal from the physical wounds he sustained in the past. It helped him get past the hurt. But, it was too quiet to drown out the memories.

_Heero peeled his eyes open to confront the pain head on. It radiated from his left shoulder, angry, burning... He gritted his teeth._

_Light blue eyes peered down at him. “You’re, you’re awake!” A small smile pulled at her lips and she motioned at someone he couldn’t see, in the direction of the doorway._

_He could see her hands on his arm, but he couldn’t feel them._

_“Relena...” Dark shadows marred the skin under her eyes; her normally golden hair seemed...darker. He could see the makeup stains on her collar. Her face was a sickly pale._

_He wet his lips. His voice sounded hoarse when he spoke: “How long?”_

_“Five days.” She looked down at his bandaged shoulder. “You’ve been out five days. The doctors weren’t sure.” She shook her head, and met his eyes again. “But, I knew.... I knew you’d come back.”_

_She had a ‘tell’ when she was lying. Unlike most politicians, it wasn’t that her lips were moving, but when she couldn’t look him in the eye._

_“I just don’t--”_

_He spared her the rest. “Did they get the shooter?”_

_“Yes. Trowa cornered him, but he...”_

_She looked down at where she grasped his hand, then back up; she met his gaze. “He took his own life.”_

_“Then they didn’t get him.” He willed himself to squeeze her hand, but his arm, the fingers of his left hand didn’t move at all under his power._

_He shut his eyes and let the pain take him away again._

He balled and then flexed the fingers of his left hand. The limb had ceased to be an impairment quite some time before. Surgery and physical therapy had made it even stronger than before.

Heero picked up the axe and swung it in a short movement, aided by gravity, to split another log in two. He leaned the instrument against a short piece of wood railing that separated this area from the main walkup to his...home. He bent and picked up one of the halves; something like an electric chill crept under the back collar of his t-shirt to run its icy fingers down his spine – making sure to bite each vertebrae as it went.

He straightened and glanced in each direction. He felt short of breath. “Relena....”

Heero reached for his water bottle; his hand scraping against the jagged wood of the railing where he had placed the bottle and hung his jacket. He lifted the water to his lips and his eyes rose at the same time.

That electric, icy feeling returned and he felt like it had overtaken him. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t call out to her or shout at her to leave. He could only stare as she seemed to float, slowly at first, then slightly faster... Until she stood about a meter away – rooted to the ground, like he was, on the other side of his short barrier of firewood.

“Heero?” Her voice sounded breathy. Her hands clasped in front of her.

He grunted and put his water back down on the railing; he grasped his axe again with both hands. He stared at his tanned, calloused fingers, unable to will himself to swing it, but the feel of the instrument in his hands seemed reassuring somehow.

“It’s...it’s been a long time.”

He stared at his axe. “Yeah.”

“You made it...difficult to find you.”

He looked up at her form. She was…so familiar, and yet so different. The shadows of the pine trees played tricks with the light; her hair was loose around her shoulders. She wore a long, brown quilted coat that looked appropriate for winter weather. Where the sun snuck in between the branches, it lit her hair with a golden fire. “Yeah.”

“It took me two years.”

He glanced up and met her eyes. The edges of her mouth curved up, but the expression seemed shaky.

“I’m surprised you managed it at all.” He lifted the axe and swung it down. The log half split into quarters; he bent down to stack them with the rest of his firewood.

“I. Well, it took forensic accountants.”

He felt something sink in the pit of his stomach. He looked up at her

She twisted her mouth into something that looked like a smirk. If Relena smirked. “Follow the money.”

“Tax refund.” He pressed his eyes shut. Damn, he should have known...he didn’t pay enough in taxes to get a refund. “Clever.” He shook his head and turned back to his pile of cut logs.

“Are you...angry?” Her voice called out behind him. “Th-that I’m here? That I found you?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Why are you here?”

“I...I wanted to see you. To see how you've been. What your life is like. To see if you’re happy. I-I wanted that for you.” He heard footsteps. Her voice grew closer.

But she couldn’t close the distance between them.

* * *

_The doctor standing in his hospital room wore a polo shirt and jeans. What happened to lab coats? Weren’t they supposed to wear lab coats and stethoscopes while they read “lab reports” and pronounced their diagnoses?_

_“You’ve sustained substantial nerve damage. We can’t tell if it starts at the nerve root at the cervical spine.”_

_He looked down at the mostly useless arm at his side, then back up at the polo shirted physician with a clipboard._

_“The body has a miraculous ability to heal itself. It’s entirely possible that, with time, you’ll get partial use of your left arm back. We’re not expecting that you’ll ever have full strength again, but you’re very lucky to be alive.”_

“How did you get here?” He gripped the railing; he didn’t want to turn around.

“I had a driver. It’s been...quite a long drive. He's waiting... I wasn’t sure you’d be at home.” Her voice came in halting breaths. Like she was, at times, unsure of him; of what to say. They’d never been at a loss before…

Before she sent him away.

“There’s no hotel for over a hundred miles.” He downed the rest of his water bottle and took a deep breath; he steeled himself to face her again.

Her mouth opened and closed. A frown crossed her features and she shoved her hands in her pockets.

“A cold front is moving in. Expecting several inches of snow.” He grabbed for the axe with his left hand. He bent down and braced another log. He stepped back.

“You should go,” Heero said and swung the axe. The log piece split into halves. He crouched down and picked up one of the halves.

“I just got here.” Her voice grew quiet. Steady. No halted speech this time. He knew that tone… A soft timbre, but knit with threads of steel...

“I didn’t ask.” He swung the axe again with a bit more force. One of the quarters leapt into the air before landing a few feet away. He moved to retrieve it.

“I’m not leaving.”

He chucked the two quarters onto the pile, and went about setting up the other half.

“You’re not welcome.”

“Will you at least tell me why?” Her voice was flat and even. So was her expression.

“WHY?” Red washed over his vision and he dropped the axe into the dirt. “Let me ask you: why did you bother spending two years searching for the human equivalent of trash you threw away?”

Blue eyes widened. She gasped and clasped a hand over her mouth. He saw all the blood drain from her face.

“I wasn’t...” He saw tears in the corners of her eyes and had to look away. “I wasn’t able to protect you anymore. So you had me dismissed.” The urge to kick down his pile of firewood throbbed through his right leg, but the logical side of his brain forced him to remain still.

“That’s...that’s what you thought?” Her voice was breathy; ragged, like she’d suddenly sprinted several yards and back. “That I...that you…” A sound tore from her throat and he spun towards her, his traitorous feet carrying him forward a few steps before he was able to stop them.

“You thought you weren’t useful to me, anymore?”

He stared at her. She finally met his gaze; her eyebrows pinched together into a peak. Tears threatened but stayed mostly in place. One, lone tear escaped the politician’s expert hold on her facial expression. And he knew…

“Heero...” She whispered and moved towards him. One hand came to rest on his arm.

He stared at it. The long fingers with manicured nails; short, practical, but clean and perfect. Heated. He wondered how her touch could burn like that… “You should go.”

“I won’t. Not until--”

“Until what?” He stood rooted in place. Her hand remained on his forearm. He felt the need to watch it carefully.

“Until we talk.”

“I have nothing to say.”

“I do. I have a number of things I want to say...to you.”

“Like what?”

“Like, I’ve missed you.”

He growled. He shrugged her hand off and turned away. He needed more firewood. He needed to go inside. He needed to get away from her. Another ten thousand miles would do…

“And I still...I still care. About you.”

The wind picked up a chill. It swept into the open area around this...house he’d built. A few hundred miles from nowhere. Where no one was ever supposed to find him; beyond the edges of where people would go looking for him.

But, she found him. He bowed his head. _I’ve never been able to hide from her._

“Is that it?”

“No.”

He looked up. She was nearer, now. Almost within his reach...

“I want to know...if you’re happy.”

“Happy? The hell, Relena?” A band tightened around his chest and made it hard to breathe. “What did you think you’d find me doing out here? Living a normal life, with a family and friends and--”

“I...” Her expression faltered.

“You should go.”

“My term ended. A bit ago. Almost a year, now. I’d hoped to get in touch with you sooner. To see if we--”

Something grabbed ahold of his stomach from inside. And squeezed. “We?”

“Yes. We were, we used to--”

“You’re unbelievable.” He stumbled back a step. He caught himself, glancing down to see he’d tripped over his axe. He retrieved it from the ground and just managed to keep himself from hurling it towards the cluster of trees. Instead, he stabbed it at the ground and braced it against the rail.

“What do you mean?”

He whirled around and marched towards her. “I practically gave my life for you!” Bile rose in his throat. It tasted bitter and he spit the words out at her. 

She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “I know.”

* * *

_“You’re no longer needed here.” Relena’s voice sounded crisp, hollow. She stared at the computer screen while she spoke. He glanced around the room, looking to see if the Relena he knew was somewhere in the room._

_Heero sucked in a breath and felt the sting in his left shoulder. That damned wound was still raw and ached in ways that bit through muscle straight to the bone. A thousand things crossed his mind at once – a remnant of the effects of the Zero system. But, without Wing Zero, he couldn’t interpret everything... He needed time to process what to say. And she wasn’t giving him time..._

_All he knew for sure was that he was angry. And hurt. He thought she cared for him. But, instead of the sympathy he had expected, and dreaded, with his prognosis; instead of offering support, she was pushing him away._

_“I’ll go.”_

“I didn’t want that for you. I couldn’t bear it – to see you like that. Hanging on by a thread...for days.” She wrung her hands and looked up at him. Her mouth was set in a grim line; her eyes turned down at the corners. “Because of me.”

He felt something cold wash over him.

“You looked so frail, and I pleaded with God night and day...”

He choked as something like cold water filled his lungs.

“If he would bring you back, if he would let you live. I would let you go.”

 _Threw me away_. But, it didn’t fit. It never fit… Not her. Not Relena… Not _his_ Relena.

“To have a real life.”

He choked.

“To live a peaceful life, where you could be safe. And, I hoped, happy.” He felt her hands just above his elbows; her forehead pressed into the back of his neck.

He was sinking. “You...”

“How many times could I lose you? I couldn’t.” Her hands slid around his waist from behind. “It was too dangerous to keep you by my side. No matter how much I wanted to.” He felt her turn her head; her temple rested against the exposed skin just below his neck.

The wind gusted freezing cold air around them. He felt her shiver... He sighed. She was right, she wasn’t leaving.

He gently pulled her arms from his body, and pivoted towards her. “Let’s go inside. It’s too cold.”

She nodded; he grabbed his coat and placed a hand on her back as he walked beside her, up the steps to his cabin. Her heels clinked a hollow sound against the wood planks he’d cut, nailed and stained – into the front steps of his home. Relena’s head tilted down as if she was watching each board as they paced the length of the deck to his front door.

As he pressed down on the dark, oil-rubbed front door handle, she lifted her head and her eyes to meet his gaze. A soft smile dawned on her lips. “You built this,” she breathed. “Every board, every nail...” She reached up, and he caught her hand before it could reach his cheek.

“Relena.” He pressed his eyes closed to try to block out the look in her eyes; the watery softness that reached straight into his chest and wrung his heart out.

Heero pushed open the door and motioned for her to go inside.

He felt her move away...

And for the ten thousandth and first time in the twenty years he’d known her, he wanted to pull her back.

* * *

Relena stepped inside his home, and delighted in…just being there. Tables, chairs, lamps, his couch, it was all wood and stone and leather and mostly handmade. The cabinets in his kitchen. The small table with the ornate edges. He paced over to a monstrous fireplace in what had to be the absolute center of the entire building, and turned the key to the gas. The small fire smoldering in the firebox leapt to life. Heero waited a few seconds and turned the key to the gas starter back down.

“Something to drink? Water? Hot tea? Coff—"

“The hot tea sounds lovely.”

“Sure. I don’t drink it much. Just some brown tea, not fancy.”

“It sounds perfect.”

He nodded and moved into the kitchen. She followed him and lingered near the entry, watching him fill the kettle with water and turn a knob on a gas stove.

“Go sit by the fire. It’ll take a while for it to heat up the other rooms of the house.”

“This place is remarkable, Heero. I really love it.”

He shrugged and mumbled something that sounded like: “It suits me.”

She smiled and returned to the living room. It was then that she remembered herself, and more importantly, remembered her driver. She slipped her hand in her purse and dug out the cellphone. She pushed the button to initiate the near field communication (NFC) function.

“Oliver, this is Relena. Can you hear me?”

A short wait, and finally. “Yes ma’am.”

“You can go. For the night. I found my friend and he says he’ll bring me back in the morning.”

Heero walked into the room, carrying a steaming mug of tea and placed it on the coffee table for her.

“Oliver?”

“Yes ma’am. If you’re sure, ma’am.”

“Yes, thank you. And stay safe out there. It’s getting cold and I think a storm is coming in.”

“Yes. You too. Be safe.”

She ended the transmission and turned off the device. She slipped it back into her bag.

Heero seemed to hover nearby. As if he was waiting for her to drink her tea.

“You can take me back tomorrow, can’t you?” She removed her coat. Heero held out an arm and she draped her coat across it. How many times had they performed a similar routine when he was….

She shook the thought from her head and smiled up at this man. This man who was so much the same as her memories and yet…he’d changed, too.

Relena sat down on the floor next to the hearth, she grabbed her mug of tea, and turned around to face the fireplace – her back resting against the coffee table. She placed both hands on the warm cup and rolled it back in forth in her palms.

She inhaled the scent of the tea. It smelled acrid and vaguely familiar. She tried not to make a face… “Do you have some lemon?” She smiled and tilted her head to look up at him.

Heero nodded and moved back towards the kitchen.

She tapped her fingers on her knees and let her gaze roam through the room. The massive stone fireplace was obviously the center of the house; the structure and ductworks built around it to help channel heat throughout. The living room, where she sat, held the bare essentials: a single, leather sofa; a handmade – had to be – wooden coffee table adorned with a leather strip around the edge, and decorative nails punched into the leathered surface. A reclining chair nearby.

A cream-colored faux fur “bear” rug lay on the floor beside her. She ran her fingers over the threads, delighting in the soft, silky feel….

Heero came back into the room with a fresh cut piece of lemon. She took it and squeezed it into her tea. She continued to hold the warm mug in her hands. Her former bodyguard took up a post on the edge of the hearth. Arms crossed against his chest; his dark blue eyes glittered in the light of the fire.

“Do you have a garden, too?”

Heero nodded.

“You said this house suits you. Does this life…suit you as well, Heero?” She blew across the top of the mug and watched the steam swirl in the air. “Are you happy here?”

“You keep asking me that.”

She put the tea down on the coffee table. “You keep not answering.”

“It suits me.” One leg bent, the back of his shoe caught on the stone hearth; he stood balanced on one leg. She got the distinct impression he was watching her.

“That’s not an answer.”

“What do you want me to say?” His eyebrows knit together over the bridge of his nose.

“How you feel.”

“I’m not happy.” He looked away. The fire no longer flickered across his face. Deep shadows prevented her from reading his expression.

Her heart squeezed, and without intending to, she found herself on her feet when he spoke again: “Not without you.”

She froze, her hand halted in mid-air – just a few inches from his arm. He didn’t move from his position – staring at something she couldn’t view. But she could see the taut muscles in his neck and the way his mouth tightened into a grim line. “I’m not either, Heero.”

The Heero-shaped statue closed his eyes, but she saw the tight line of his jaw relax. She placed her hand on his crossed arms—

He moved, and she found herself in his arms, his mouth moving against hers; the soft scratch of his beard chafing against her bottom lip and her chin. She wound her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, pressing herself into his embrace. Relena felt her blouse slip against her back as his hands clutched her through the thin fabric.

His kiss… Raw, aching. He smelled faintly of wood and soap. Crisp mountain air tinged with sweat clung to the collar of his t-shirt when his mouth left hers to bite and scrape down the side of her neck.

“Ah. Mmmm…” The world started to spin; she grabbed his shoulders to keep from falling.

She felt something tug at her blouse, pulling it up, away from her skirt. He pulled at buttons as he returned his mouth to hers. She felt herself stumble back a step, but kept her tight hold on him.

Relena didn’t know if Heero managed to undo any of the buttons before he lifted his head and his hands wrenched the material apart. She faintly heard something scatter across the floor. He pushed the silk and rayon fabric down her arms and tugged it from her wrists – leaving her with just her satin camisole over her chest and stomach.

Relena looked up at Heero’s face. Shadows hid his eyes, but there was no mistaking the determination set into the rest of his features. Or the desire that he held…his covered arousal pressed into the front of her hip. And she knew…

Relena smiled up at him and pulled the hem of his white t-shirt over his head; small strands of hair stood straight up with the friction. She smoothed her hands up his ribcage to his shoulders. Her eyes lingered over the scars…

“They don’t hurt.” His voice was a deep, hoarse whisper in her ear.

A long, faded purple line that hadn’t been there before, cut across the top of his left shoulder. She met his gaze. “I’m-I’m glad.” She leaned in to kiss him again; a low growl seemed to emanate from somewhere inside him. She tried to pull him closer, but he resisted.

“What’s wrong?”

He closed his eyes and she could see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat; he licked his lips. “You should,” Heero gasped, pulling her arms down from his neck. “You should get some rest. We’ll need to leave—”

She cut him off with a searing kiss. Relena found the top of his jeans, and began pulling at the clasp. She felt his mouth relax against hers; his lips parted and he deepened their connection.

He grabbed her around the waist and hauled her against him; she felt one hand toy with the strap of her camisole. She gripped his shoulders, feeling the hard planes of his chest and the heat of his skin through the gauzy fabric still barely covering her chest. 

Straps pushed aside, she felt the floor slipping beneath her shoes and he was laying her down in the middle of that amazingly soft bear rug. She felt like he could wrap her up in it and she could probably orgasm just from the sensation. Its silken fingers stroked her back even as Heero’s traced incredible patterns over her chest and nipples.

She heard a low heated moan fill the room.

* * *

Heero bit firm, desperate kisses down her neck. He caught her ear with his teeth and heard her moan at the same time her back arched off the rug – pressing her chest against his. Her hands pulled at the front of his jeans. He hissed when he felt her fingers reach inside and brush against his erect sex.

It had been so long…

_Heero opened the back door to her limousine and helped the business casual attired ESUN President inside. She smiled up at him, her hair pulled back in a low ponytail – like she used to wear when they were younger. Two, long wisps of hair fell on either side of her face, teasing the line of her jaw. He caught the faint scent of the alcohol she’d sipped with her dinner. And after her dinner. And with dessert…_

_Her eyelids looked slightly heavy, and a small giggle escaped her throat._

_Heero pushed the button to raise the privacy glass. “You’re inebriated.”_

_"Hah.” She huffed and the long wisps of hair echoed her derision. “Never. I’m just…happy. Relaxed.” She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes. “No one at dinner could tell.” Her head lolled towards him and she opened her eyes again. “Just you.”_

_"One, you hide it well.” He sat beside her, to her left, in the backseat and faced the front of the vehicle. He glanced at her to make sure her seatbelt was on. “Two, most of them were more drunk.”_

_"Three, you watch me. My every move. Don’t you, Heero?”_

_She removed her seatbelt and leaned towards him. Her fingers slipped over his right arm, and his head swam with an overload of sensory data. He felt…surprised by her proximity. “I’m your bodyguard.”_

_"Is that the only reason?” Her breath was warm on his neck. It tickled the fine hairs there and he could feel the pounding of his heart in his chest. He figured she could hear it…._

_She mouthed a kiss onto his jaw. He sucked in a breath… He shouldn’t take advantage—_

_His thought process was cut off by her mouth against his; heated wet lips bit and sucked, awakening an ache in his stomach and chest. He started to close his arms around her when she slipped away…_

_Her fingers toyed with the button on his jeans as her head slid into his lap. Heero drew in a sharp breath when he felt her free him from his boxers… And then that hot, wet mouth was kissing another part of him._

_He lost himself in the feeling, forgetting…absolutely nothing worth remembering. Her tongue lapped at the top of his erection, and then he was inside her mouth. Heero couldn’t breathe watching her golden hair bob up and down, electric heat dancing through his abdomen and then all he could feel was his cock, pulsing, cresting –_

_Her hair in his hands, a small cry, a choked shout! And then he was pumping his hips up and into her until he hit the roof of the car, his body thrummed wildly! He lost control and came inside that hot, amazing mouth that contained him… Throbbing, pulsing… Until he was empty._

_"_ _Relena...”_

Her fingers found his erection, pulling it from the opening in his boxers. She ran her hand down its length. Heero gritted his teeth and stilled over her prone form.

“Heero.” Her voice was a breathy plea against his ear. She kissed and bit at his lobe while rubbing his cock, stripping away the last of his dubious resolve. He pulled away, stood up and removed his pants. He then kneeled down between her legs and slipped her skirt and panties over her hips.

He would have been happy to throw them into the fire, so she’d have to be naked like this in his house for the rest of her life.

Heero placed a kiss just beneath her belly button, then moved up a few inches, and up…tracing a path with his tongue as he went. She tangled her fingers in his hair; soft, delicious sounds escaped her lips. He found her breasts and pressed a delicate kiss on one of her peaked nipples. Relena gasped and he felt the nails of one of her hands scrape against the back of his neck.

His fingers gently moved against her folds, slipping into the heated warmth to find her sensitive nub. He pressed the pad of his thumb against it, and felt every muscle in her body tighten. He grinned and moved his knee to keep her legs spread so he could keep exploring.

He gently bit her nipple at the same time he drew a firm circle into her clitoris. She arched herself against him and whimpered. “Heero, please—” Her nails clawed into the back of his shoulder.

Another circle, much wetter this time, and he lapped and bit at the peak of her breast. Her breathing was heavy, her head thrashed as she pulled on his neck. She pleaded with him again.

Heero gripped his erection and positioned it at her entrance. He pushed, repositioned, and then sunk completely inside her. The smell of her skin, her wetness, the warmth of her silken skin… He pumped once inside her and it felt like… liquid heat cased in velvet.

He pulled out to the tip and thrust into her again. Her eyes were closed and she was trying to hold onto him… But the pooling warmth leaked out of his abdomen and caught on fire. He sat up and pulled her hips off the floor, ramming into her again and again. Her breasts bobbed and shook with every thrust. Her hands grabbed the rug beneath her and she cried out with each jolt of her body.

He paused, dipping his fingers into the junction between her legs, trying to please her, too… Her head thrashed from side to side and he saw one of her hands slide up to fumble with her own nipple.

Heero stopped, completely. He pulled out of her body. Her eyes flew open, and she searched the room, her eyes looking dazed before her gaze came to rest on him.

He rolled her over, lifting her hips to his waist and pushing her chest down into the fur rug. Then, he positioned himself to enter her again…

* * *

Relena felt the room swirl around her. She felt him, behind her, his knees planted just inside of hers on either side. And then she felt his cock, hard and thick pushing inside her…where it belonged.

Her elbows held her up, but his hand on her back was firm in pressing her upper body down. Her nipples grazed the top of that incredible silken rug… He thrust inside her again, and she felt her body quake as the motion nudged her forward, rubbing the peaks of her breasts against the faux fur that felt like heated fingers, stroking her….

Relena moved just enough to make sure the next thrust brought her nipples deeper into the enticing fabric. She groaned, and then couldn’t replenish the air in her lungs. She gulped a shallow breath and then--

“Uhn!” Heero’s fingers found her clit; he rubbed against it in electric circles as he continued to pump in and out of her. She lost the ability to think. The world melted away as he set her body ablaze…

His skin against hers had become too hot for her to stand. She felt her the threads of her muscles ache. She was moving with him, and everything felt…like too many sensations at once. She tried to focus on the one coaxing her…somewhere thrilling and bright, but there were so many…

His arousal penetrating her body, filling her core, thrusting, searching…

His fingers delving into her inner lips, gliding, searing…

The electric friction of the velvet fur rug against her chest, stroking, teasing…

She grabbed fistfuls of the fabric as she heard her voice gasp; deep moans escaped her lips as she tried to hang on…to him, to something, but light blazed through her skin and something caught fire! It burned the oxygen from the room as Heero, her Heero, surged into her, winding her muscles tighter and tighter until she thought she’d break…

She tried to breathe, but then the fire between her legs met the electric heat radiating from her chest. She felt him thrust inside her again, and she hit that desperate peak. Her body convulsed and shuddered; she shouted his name as something doused the raging heat with cold, thrilling waves.

A couple more thrusts and then he was over her, his teeth digging into the back of her shoulder, as she felt his entire body quaking against hers. His sex still nestled deep inside her, throbbing as he came.

He stroked his fingers through her hair in what felt like a loving gesture. “Relena…” His voice sounded like she felt: shaking and raw.

The room darkened around her and she fell.

Relena felt something move, and she tried to open her eyes. Her eyelids felt too too heavy but…something nagged at the back of her brain. She needed to open her eyes.

The room was dark; she was lying in a bed. Not hers. It wasn’t her room, either. She sat up and glanced around, trying to get her bearings in the darkened air. It was Heero’s room. Heero’s bed. She felt the mattress beside her, but he wasn’t there. And that side of the bed wasn’t warm.

He’d not been there in some time, if he’d ever been there at all.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and noticed…that she was completely nude. She tried to shake the fog from her head. They’d made love… She felt her face grow warm as she tried to find a lamp, a wall, a light switch… Anything to help her see.

Her hands made contact with a wall, then a small door. She moved it aside, and felt the wood give way to ice cold tile. She found a light switch and flipped it on. Along the wall was a set of hooks; one held a long, dark blue terry cloth towel; the other had what looked to be a dark brown chenille robe. She grabbed the robe, shrugging it over her shoulders, and wandered back out into his bedroom.

The light from the other room provided enough visibility for her to navigate to the bedroom door, and out into the small hallway that stretched only a couple of feet before she was back in the living room with the fireplace.

“Heero?” She called out.

The crackling of the fireplace was the only reply.

She padded through the living room towards the front door. At the window, she could see: snow, gently spiraling in the wind before piling on the ground; beyond the porch stood two men – one with black hair pulled back into a severe ponytail, the other had shaggy pieces of dark brown hair covering his forehead and a broad grin.

_Dammit, how did they find me?_

She turned and found the blouse and skirt she’d lost - lying on the hearth. She tugged them on, then found her purse. She checked inside; the burner phone was off. Her regular cell phone was still separated from its lithium ion battery.

 _How did they find_ —She stopped and shook her head. There was really only one way…

She stood and retrieved her coat from the hook by the door.

* * *

Heero sat on his front porch, laptop perched on a small table nearby. The dark night sky, normally clear and filled with several galaxies of stars, was covered by thick clouds. Snow had already begun to blanket the surrounding area; sprinkling nearby pine trees as it fell.

The light from his porch lamps cast two wide arcs in the snow just beyond his front deck. He stared at the Preventers standing just inside their reach. “It took you long enough.”

“We came for the woman.” Wufei’s voice sounded like the snarl Heero couldn’t quite make out on his face.

Heero snorted. “As promised. She’s been sedated.” He glanced over his shoulder as he felt that electric pulse through his spine again. He looked back at Duo and Wufei, satisfied she wasn’t standing behind him. “As soon as you’re ready, I’ll go—”

At that moment, the front door opened and ‘the woman’ stepped outside, wrapped in her winter coat, and clutching it tight against her. Heero stood up. His breath hitched. He tried to brush aside the desire to see whether she was wearing anything underneath…

“Sedated, huh?” Came a low, condescending growl. A smack, and then: “OW! Dammit, Maxwell!”

Relena looked at the Preventers and then at Heero. _How?_ He felt his mouth run dry.

“Hi Princess!”

Relena ignored Duo’s greeting and focused on him. Blue eyes the color of ice chips met his, very unlike the passion-filled gaze she held a couple of hours before. “Did you really think I’d fall for the sedative in the tea routine?” Her mouth pressed into grim line; the effort seemed to pinch the rest of her face into a frown.

Heero wasn’t sure, but he thought the hard slam to his chin was his jaw hitting the floor. “How?” And instantly regretted asking.

She glared at him. It felt like tiny, sharp daggers slicing against the skin of his chest.

“Trowa had me practice for months after the Mariameia incident. He put all sorts of sedatives in every flavor of tea you can imagine. Taught me what different ones smelled like, and tested me and tested me… I believe your attempt was Ambien in Earl Grey, was it not?” One eyebrow arched up; the opposite side of her mouth quirked into a slightly less severe expression.

He heard Duo chuckle. Wufei swore.

Heero let his gaze fall to the floor. Her feet were bare. He wondered how much of the rest of her still was…

She peeled back one side of her coat, and he started. He stepped to block the view from the other Preventers before catching sight of…what was left of her clothing underneath. She pulled a manila folder from inside the jacket and slammed it into his chest. “How long?” She clutched the quilted fabric back together again; a spasm seemed to run through her. Her breath was just visible in the lamplight.

“What?”

She stepped forward, towards him. Her whole body leaning into a confrontational posture; her tone sharpened. “How long have you been running off-the-books missions, outside my jurisdiction and knowledge, for Preventer?”

“Eh heh heh, I think that’s our cue, Wufei.” Duo’s jovial tone wavered slightly, a sign that Relena’s questions and alert presence (most likely) was making him nervous. “Let’s leave the lovers to their quarrel.”

“That’s the cell that—”

She tilted her head up and squared her shoulders. “The assassin who took his own life was part of?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been tracking them.”

He nodded.

She snapped her fingers up in the air. He turned and saw Duo and Wufei freeze in position; Wufei had one hand on the car door for the driver’s seat. Duo’s arms came up; his fingers laced together behind his head and he turned around to face Relena.

“Not so fast.” Her voice rose to a controlled shout. “You two stay.”

She returned her attention to Heero. “Explain.”

He felt his feet move a half step backwards. “It’s classified.”

Her features, which had been pale in the cold weather, turned mottled and red. “Like HELL IT IS!” He had to look away. Her anger… He could almost deal with her tears better than her anger. Both made him feel like crumbling into dust. But she was supposed to be kind, generous…if she was angry it’s because he had done something so terribly wrong…

“You disappeared for four years!”

Pain seared across his chest. She’d already found out why he’d really left. He had felt like…she didn’t need him anymore. But, he couldn’t let those that had tried to kill her— “Preventer knew exactly where I was.”

“I…became aware. But only recently.”

Her tone softened, but he still couldn’t look her in the eyes. 

“Like I said, forensic accountants can find all sorts of things…. Like the payments for the surgical implant that gave you back the use of your arm.”

“Oh shit.” Duo’s voice was an unwelcome interjection.

“Preventer paid for an experimental surgery,” she kept her voice even as another tremor seemed to roil through her spine. “A cybernetic shoulder harness for reconnecting the nerves between your arm and your neck.”

He stretched out his left arm and looked at the hand in front of him. He balled into a fist and then released.

“I noticed when you were chopping wood. You’ve gotten used to it being your stronger arm, even if you’ve never been left-handed.”

Heero rubbed a hand over his face and shut his eyes. “You didn’t just happen to find me, did you?” His voice came out in puffs of frigid air. “Wasn’t sure I’d be at home, you said; that was a lie.”

She crossed her arms across her chest and motioned at the two Preventers behind him. “I knew about your signal canceling capabilities, rendering your safe house virtually undetectable – if that’s what you’re asking.” He looked up at her. This woman whom he had known, but still surprised him as if he was just meeting her, again, for the first time. Golden hair shining in the lamplight; her fingers trembling where they clutched her coat against her. Despite shivering in the cold, her presence was commanding.

_She’s still…amazing._

“But, just before a snowstorm.” Her voice lifted into a grating tone that reminded him of Duo. “You weren’t likely to risk your expensive equipment being ruined by the elements.”

“Holy crap! Princess, you planned—"

“Relena….” It was too cold outside. He wanted to get her back into the warmth of his cabin. Probably his bed was the warmest place for her…

“So, what was the plan, hand me back to these two, and pretend that I’d never found you? That nothing ever happened?”

He stepped closer and gripped her arms through her jacket. “What was I supposed to do? Let you stay here?” She squirmed against his hold on her.

“Why not?” Her chin jutted out as she defiantly met his gaze. “Not too many people in this world can find it. I had special access—”

“You’re needed by the rest of the universe, I’m not.” He wanted to fold her into his arms and share his body heat with her. Instead, he released his hold and stared at door behind her.

“You’re needed by me.” Her hand came up and moved his jaw down; he couldn’t help but meet her gaze.

“I hated letting you go.”

Heero felt a tremor throb through his body, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

“I did it because I thought I was saving your life.” Her eyes flickered between soft and steel in the porch lights. 

“Not so you could put yourself in more danger by infiltrating a terrorist cell!”

“They tried to kill you.” He tried not to think about the months spent in the training camps. The pictures of her face marked as ‘the enemy’. “We had to know why.”

“And have you found out?” She released his chin and shook her head. “Anything? Other than some identities and cell structure?” Her lips had turned a bluish color and he saw her teeth chatter.

“Not really any reason other than trying to disrupt peace amongst colonies.” He remembered that moment so vividly, even all these years later.

_“Gun!” Trowa shouted and it was like he and everyone around them slowed down._

_The former acrobat leapt towards the attacker, while Heero did…the only thing he could. He grabbed Relena, wrapping his arms and as much of his body around her._

_A loud bang! And his shoulder erupted into a blinding heat. Pain tinged with a deep throbbing ache stung every cell in his arm. He felt the world tilt underneath him…_

_“My God, Heero!”_

“They hate…a lot of people for various reasons. I don’t know that they can even keep track anymore.” Why couldn’t they just go back inside…and remember the fire they’d started a few hours before?

“So, now what?” Her voice sounded hushed. Quiet. He brought a hand up to stroke a piece of hair from her cheek.

“I was going to send that report with these two, so Preventer could decide what to do next.” He turned away from her and raised his voice. “It was too risky to send electronically. They have strong digital surveillance capabilities, and access to quantum processing.”

“Wait, you’re saying they can break our encryption?” Wufei called out.

“Yeah.”

“Fuck!”

“And where does that leave…us?”

He turned back to face her. This woman whom he’d admired and desired for so long. “Relena…” He dropped his hand back to his side.

“I told you. I’m done.” She tangled the fingers of one hand with his. “My term is over…”

“You still have things to do. Important things.”

“Nothing is more important than this. Than you.”

Heero sucked in a breath of bone chillingly cold air. He’d forgotten why he wanted them to take her away.

“We’ll just take that report,” Duo said as he stepped onto the porch and snagged the manila folder. “And Wufei and I will be on our merry way….” He turned and took the stairs two at a time. The sound of an engine revved and then caught. Heero watched the Preventer who still wore his hair in an impossibly long braid – slide in a smooth motion over the hood of the car, and land a bit awkwardly on his feet. He snagged the door handle to the passenger’s seat.

“Heh. Always wanted to do that.” He winked and raised his left hand. “Bye Princess!”

The sound of the car wheels crunching over snow and gravel sounded somewhere behind him.

But his eyes, his attention, everything within him had returned focus to Relena. “I don’t know how…” His voice came out in a whisper; he took her other hand in his. “I don’t know how to make this work.”

“I don’t know either.” She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his cheek. “But maybe…maybe we just try.” She brought both pairs of joined hands up to shoulder height. “A little bit every hour, every day…”

He felt a deep ache in his chest as he leaned forward, pulling his hands from her grasp to wrap his arms around her. He felt her tremble a few more times and then she stopped.

“You could be…in danger.” He gripped the door behind her, and swung it open. Heero lifted her slightly off her feet and deposited her in the much warmer air inside. He kicked the door closed behind them. He shrugged his coat from his shoulders and peeled hers from her arms.

Her mouth…her mouth was just inches away. Her lips moved and she was always so much better at saying the things that needed to be said between them. “I know.” Her hands smoothed down the thin t-shirt on his chest. Her hands, despite having been in the frigid air for so long, brought heat to his skin.

“But, Heero, no matter the cost…” She breathed. “I want to be with you.”

He leaned down and caught her lips into a slow-burning, but heated kiss.


End file.
